By Erda Khursyiah Basir
KUALA LUMPUR: Social media has come a long way since its inception. Today, the need to keep some things personal seems to be taken a back seat.
People tend to be more open, sharing their innermost thoughts and every detail of their lives on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, etc.
But what you share online is seen by people you don’t even know and before you know it, your posting has become viral.
Going viral means your content resonates so immensely that it gets liked, re-tweeted, commented on and talked about.
Helps overcome social anxiety
According to a psychologist and founder of CPC International at Bandar Baru Bangi Dr Noor Aishah Rosli, emotional sharing on social media has now become a global trend.
“Expressing feelings through the social media platform shows the individual’s courage to share his or her emotions of happiness, anger or sadness.
“Before the rise of the social media, we would feel ashamed and afraid when faced with criticisms, etc.
“Today technology has occupied such an important place in the modern society that it is next to impossible to imagine life without it. People feel comfortable sharing their stories, feelings and problems on social media.
“It is also helpful for those with social anxiety disorder, those who suffer from extreme fear in sharing their predicament with others. This is because the feedback from the public on social media may have eased their anxiety,” she told Bernama recently.
She said that sharing emotions on social media among others can influence, motivate and inspire others given that human beings learn through observing and imitating what they see.
“It is a human instinct to want to be noticed. For example, people tend to share their highlights, and they get satisfaction from the congratulatory messages they receive on their achievements. Similarly, postings on sorrows, trauma and humiliating experience would draw sympathy and words of encouragement from the public.
“Through such postings, other users with similar problems will be driven to share their own story with the public on social media,” she added.
Not for public consumption
Social media can be an effective tool to inform the public on certain issues but Dr Noor Aishah cautioned, there should be certain reasonable limitations on matters to be shared.
“There are things shared on social media that will make others think, are they also faced with similar situations? For instance, a mother shares in general about her daughter or son being bullied in a boarding school.
“Other social media users who read the status especially mothers will treat her story as a wake-up call for them not to let their guard down in respect of their own children’s well-being. When the issue becomes viral, the authorities will take follow-up action including stepping up efforts against bullying in school,” she said, adding that the issue can serve as a guide for the public.
She also alluded to the fact that marital problems are not for public consumption especially when popular celebrities are involved as they would only have negative effects on their family members in particular.
Dr Noor Aishah explained, sharing marital conflicts on social media would only turn the public into ‘unqualified jurors’ either when expressing sympathy or making offensive, despicable and abusive statements that tarnish the image and dignity of others.
“When marital issues are exposed (especially celebrities), for example, people start to talk about A. And if we react to every comment, it could trigger negative remarks. As outsiders, we should refrain from making negative statements as we don’t know the real story. Islam prohibits Muslims from making sinful speeches,” she added.
Social status driving factor
She opined that the social status has driven individuals to share engaging postings to grab public attention, noting that these influential and renowned groups would usually resort to this strategy.
“If you look at the postings on social media, most of them are shared by well-known and wealthy personalities who don’t mind sharing their story in the open; they are not also affected by criticisms levelled against them as they feel they are powerful and influential.
“But for the average people, marital issues are seldom shared on social media. Perhaps they are not bold enough, and furthermore, they are just ordinary citizens.
“Many postings on social media are generated from celebrities. It’s probably because their lives are closely linked to the social media and other media platforms, hence making it easier for them to share their thoughts,” she added.
Family members of these popular figures will also bear the brunt of their disclosure of marital problems, with psychological effects on their children over the long-term, including mental pressure, worries, depression, etc.
Dr Noor Aishah said, when a wife or husband highlighted the weakness of their spouse in public, how would the partner, parents, children and family members react to such a situation?
“If you’re unhappy (with your marriage), go to the religious office and use the right channel. Perhaps either one may regard the social media as the best platform to release their bottled up emotions, but the conflict has far-reaching implications.
“As far as marital issues are concerned, many parties are involved. Children watch, read and assess their parents’ behaviour. Loyalty conflicts are likely to arise, they may feel that their father is the culprit as he often makes their mother cry, based on stories shared on social media,” she said, adding that children will become victims of the situation.
Emotional impulses can bring shame to the family and result in irrational thinking, expecting the worst to happen, or what is termed as over-thinking.
“Marital issues are common even in the past, but the only difference is, it is now being exposed for public scrutiny. In fact, we should ignore the posting as it has nothing to do with us. But when the content is posted, we get agitated, with empathy and mixed emotions after reading what we read.
“As a result, nosy-parkers who are emotionally driven will vent their dissatisfaction by giving provocative comments on social media, causing family members to be dragged into the conflict,” she said, advising the affected parties to take the matter in their stride.
Personal data security affected
Meanwhile, Deputy President of the Malaysia Cyber Consumer Association (MCCA) Azrul Zafri Azmi said, several types of postings that are commonly shared by cyber users include genuine comments from those who said they had no other avenues to have their complaints heard as they do not have many friends (introvert), as well as negative comments to seek attention, support and more ‘likes’ on social media.
Some media posts are specially created to attract followers and once the content becomes viral, the creator will leverage on his or her popularity for business and to collect donations.
This is based on the principle of ‘bad marketing is also marketing.”
However, Azrul Zafri felt that the emotional sharing trend on social media is harmful as it exposes individuals to groups with bad intentions.
He said sharing personal thoughts and emotions on social media will allow outsiders to take advantage of the individual during a crisis, especially when he or she may be vulnerable and looking for help. Hence, the platform, he noted, should be used to disseminate positive and beneficial content.
“There are some who like to post general content on political ideologies and religious issues. Not everyone shares your view, as such, remarks which are intended to create tension, should be avoided,” he said, adding that the social media is not the place to gain enemies.
Certain exposure on social media may allow certain parties to fish in troubled waters from the aspects of personal security data, he said, noting that when such posting becomes frequent, outsiders will be able to track the individual’s movement.
Among others, whom the individual goes out with, information on his children and spouse, are some examples, he said, adding that the use of artificial intelligence (AI) makes it easier for such data to be manipulated for various purposes such as threats, marketing, etc.
“Whatever that we share has its effects. Irresponsible parties will take advantage of the situation, such as by manipulating our date of birth that we use as password, and our home address could also pose risks of housebreaking and kidnapping of their children at school.
“Other examples, a celebrity who shares her feelings over her marital conflict, will allow a third party to exploit the situation to harm her and to use the issue that has become viral, for other purposes. In the end, the marital issue is not resolved but other parties have profiteered from the situation,” he added.
Based on the cyber security best practices, he said it is not wrong to share general lessons for public knowledge, but due care should be exercised when sharing postings on social media, lest it would backfire on the individual, causing harm to the family and allowing other parties to use the postings to their advantage.
Choose the right channel
Lawyer Zakiah Daod said, social media influencers (who are typically digital creators) and the community have become inextricably intertwined, hence many people have been bold enough to share their marital problems on TikTok.
“Almost every day, individuals especially women would upload videos venting frustration over their cheating husband or that they have been divorced by their partner. While it was meant to create awareness, the content however backfired on her.
“For example, there was once an issue that went viral on a wife who caught her husband, who was a doctor, with another woman. I consider her actions as inappropriate and such a case is an act of humiliation as the content was posted on social media for public consumption, and it has no legal standing.
“What she should have done is to report the offence (khalwat or close proximity) to the relevant institution for further investigation and action. The case can be heard in court (Syariah) and will be attended by those involved and the actual incident will only be kept as court records and in the courtroom only,” she added.
The problem faced will only be another episode of a drama series when it is exposed to the social media and according to Zakiah, the situation will be blown out of proportion when netizens react negatively and worse still, offer the wrong advice.
“Instead of leveraging the social media to share their problem, individuals should seek information on the relevant agencies to deal with the issue.
“For abuse cases, you can search on the internet on domestic violence against women. The search engine will take you to information on who to contact such as Women’s Aid Organisation, hospital, police station, Social Welfare Department as well as the relevant laws. You can also apply for a court injunction to protect you from being harmed or threatened by the person who has abused you,” she shared. – BERNAMA
