Empowering family with aid and opportunities

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SINCE 1975, my life has been intertwined with the stories of my close relatives, filled with moments of both struggle and triumph. 

It all began during my humble days as a lowly paid assistant editor for an Iban newspaper when fate brought me in touch with my eldest niece, Adeline Penghulu Kandau, who was just a year younger than me.

Adeline had recently completed her Form Three education and was unemployed. Recognising her potential, I took it upon myself to bring her to the bustling city of Sibu, where I helped her secure a job at an ice cream shop near our modest flat in Sungai Antu.

At first, she stayed with me, sharing the ups and downs of life in the city. But as time went on, she found a female co-worker who lived closer to her workplace, and they became roommates, embarking on a new chapter together.

As the years rolled by, I faced my challenges on the career front. After graduating in March 1979, I found myself in a disheartening three-week period of joblessness. 

The weight of survival pressed heavily on my shoulders as I struggled to make ends meet on a meagre salary of slightly over one thousand.

However, fate smiled upon me, and in May 1983, I was rewarded for my perseverance with a promotion to the esteemed position of principal at SMK SEDAYA (Sekolah Datuk Abdul Rahman Yaakub). It was a turning point in my life, one that would pave the way for greater opportunities to come.

In the early months of 1984, another chance to make a difference presented itself. This time, it was my third niece, Sarai, who sought my guidance. 

Sarai, the daughter of Kandau and my late sister, Dinggu, had recently achieved a Second Grade in MCE and possessed an impressive command of the English language.

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With a heart full of hope, I used my connections to assist Sarai in securing a temporary position as an English Language teacher at the school where I served as principal. 

Simultaneously, I worked tirelessly to help her apply for teacher training and gain admission to the prestigious Institut Teknologi Mara (ITM).

The universe seemed to conspire in Sarai’s favour, as she received a letter of offer to study Business Studies at ITM.

However, fate had yet another surprise in store for her. Just weeks later, she received an offer to train at Maktab Perguruan Sultan Abdul Halim (MPSAH) in the enchanting land of Kedah.

Overjoyed by the possibilities that lay before her, Sarai accepted the offer with enthusiasm. To commemorate her new journey, I gifted her a stylish Adidas sports suit, perfect for her physical education classes. 

The happiness on her face mirrored my own, and she embarked on her new adventure, armed with new clothes and a substantial amount of cash.

Two months later, a letter from Sarai arrived, brimming with joy and gratitude for the new experiences she was encountering on campus. 

She even shared a photograph of herself with her Muslim colleagues, all proudly wearing the ‘tudung.’ It was a moment of celebration and connection, but little did I know it would be our last contact.

Years passed, and it was only in 1988, when I held the position of headmaster at SMK Julau, that I stumbled upon news of Sarai’s whereabouts. I discovered that she had been assigned to teach at SK Menuan, a primary school in Kapit. 

Determined to help her navigate the challenges of distance and unfamiliarity, I reached out to my dear friend Carter Ballang Kapong, the Kapit Divisional Education Officer.

With heartfelt sincerity, I poured out Sarai’s situation to Carter, who responded with unwavering support. Through his efforts, Sarai was eventually transferred to a school in Kota Samarahan, conveniently located near her husband’s residence. 

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Overwhelmed with gratitude, I made a phone call to Carter, conveying my deepest appreciation for his invaluable assistance.

Amidst the stories of my relatives, my own family’s tale weaves its way into the narrative. 

Since the birth of our first daughter, followed by the surviving twin boy, and later a third child, my wife and I found ourselves shouldering the immense responsibility of caring for them. 

To aid us in this endeavour, we employed an Iban girl named Nono, hailing from Sri Aman, whose father worked at Semuja Camp Serian.

Nono quickly became an integral part of our family, known affectionately as Nono by my eldest daughter. Her reliability and hard work endeared her to us, and she resided with us at SMK Serian until July. 

Tragically, fate dealt us a cruel blow when our daughter lost her life in a devastating car crash in 1990. The grief was overwhelming, and Nono, unable to bear the pain, left our household.

In the midst of this profound loss, I found solace in the support of my two maternal first cousins, Mit and Muna. Mit, having completed his SPM, joined our family, while Muna faced her struggles in her Upper Sixth studies at SMKBM Saratok, burdened by the weight of their impoverished family situation.

Moved by their plight, I committed to supporting Muna in her academic journey, even going so far as to pay off her debts at school. 

It was a gesture that extended beyond just her education, as it also alleviated the financial strain on their father, Uncle Nyiring, who battled illness and found himself in and out of the hospital. 

The gratitude expressed by Uncle Nyiring, despite his ailing condition, touched my heart deeply.

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Mit and Muna, in turn, took on the responsibility of caring for my surviving half-twin son, Jay. In 1992, Muna moved in with us at SMK Julau, eagerly awaiting her STPM results. 

She was also granted a temporary teaching position, focusing her efforts on the lower secondary forms.

The tale of our extended family continued to unfold, and in 1993, a glimmer of joy entered our lives with the birth of our daughter, Dawn Sara. 

It was during this time that I managed to secure the services of my niece Ulat, whose real name was Cecilia. 

Ulat, the eldest daughter of my brother Jon, joined our household, adding her presence to the growing number of helpers in our busy home.

However, life had its plans for Ulat. The demands of her studies at Taylor’s College proved to be too overwhelming, and she made the difficult decision to become a full-time maid in our home until 1997 when I embarked on a new chapter in Brunei.

Throughout this remarkable journey, I have remained steadfast in my commitment to support and uplift my relatives. From helping them find employment opportunities and educational pathways to offering financial aid and a place to call home, I have dedicated myself to extending a helping hand to those in need.

My actions have always been driven by a deep-rooted desire to witness the success and transformation of my beloved relatives. 

Their stories intertwine with mine, creating a tapestry of shared experiences, challenges overcome, and dreams fulfilled. 

As I continue on this journey, I am grateful for the opportunity to make a positive impact on the lives of those closest to my heart.

The views expressed here are those of the columnist and do not necessarily represent the views of New Sarawak Tribune.

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