Book title: Please Look After Mom
ISBN: 978-0-307-73951-3
Author: Shin Kyung-Sook
Publisher: Vintage
When was the last time you’d told mom about something that had happened to you? At a certain point, the conversations between you and mom became simplified. Even that was not done face to face, but by telephone.
Despite having already read this book, the story continues to have an impact on my life to this day. Picking it up again a few days ago brought back the ache I had for mothers in general. The mothers who are always working hard for their husbands, children, and household. She makes certain that everything is in order, even if her emotions aren’t always in order.
“Please Look After Mom” is a story about the character “mom”, who gets lost in a subway station in Seoul one day. Her disappearance stirs up emotions in her children, who realise that the quiet scene of their mother’s absence is actually empty and dark.
Emotions were stirred with each page flip. The children realised how their mother had been treated and how she had behaved.
“You realised that you habitually thought of mom when something in your life was not going well, because when you thought of her it was as though something got back on track, and you felt re-energised.”
The children frantically search for their mother using the clues she left behind. Instead of discovering where she was, they opened new chapters in the mother’s life. From her days as a single woman to marrying their father and living with their in-laws.
They realised, however, that a mother isn’t always a mother.
“To you, mom was always a mom. It never occurred to you that she had once taken her first step or had once been three or twelve or twenty years old. Mom was mom. She was born a mom. Until you saw her running to your uncle like that, this realisation led to the awareness that she, too, had had a childhood.”
Opening up unimagined feelings
“Please Look After Mom”, among the many books I’ve read, presents a harsh lesson for its readers. It caused me to reflect on the lives of my mother and many other mothers. A woman after marriage and having children is a job, not for the weak, especially decades and centuries ago when it was not the norm for women to have careers.
As a mother, it also made me realise that I had deliberately chosen decisions based on my children. Though it was a sacrifice I was ready to make, few understood why. Mothers are the only ones who understand.
Thus, I believe that this book is a good eye-opener because it salvages a feeling that many people are unaware of. It addresses the feelings of mothers about which no one seems to care, understand, or be aware of. It discusses feelings that mothers cannot or dare not express since doing so may violate community norms.
“There’s no beginning or end to the kitchen work. You eat breakfast, then it’s lunch, and then it’s dinner. And when it’s bright again, it’s breakfast again.”
But mom I need you too
“You never thought of mom as separate from the kitchen. Mom was the kitchen and the kitchen was mom. You never wondered, did mom like being in the kitchen?”
When the children realised their mother had left them for good, the regrets began. The regret of not calling or visiting her regularly. As for mom’s husband, he began to reflect on the times when he showed no appreciation, when he yelled at her and ordered her around. As the pages turned, these regrets evolved into a life lesson.
Evidently, after reading this book, you will no longer regard ‘mom’ in the same way. Though this book is a train of guilt trip thoughts, it is worth reading since it leads to an avalanche of feelings that are worth pondering on.
With over 200 pages, author Shin Kyung-Sook meticulously manages each word as she effectively conveys the story. In the meantime, thanks are also due to Kim Chi-Young, the book’s translator, for selecting the English terms that were appropriate for the story.
Not to mention that the author mentions several instances of traditional Korean culture (and how mom has to do everything about it in the household). There are not just life lessons to be taught, but people may also read about Korean culture.
