By Ammar Shafiq Hamzah
KUCHING: Love transcends boundaries; nowhere is this more evident than in inter-racial relationships.
In embracing diversity, the couples learn the cultures, traditions and values from one another, broaden their perspectives and gain insights into different customs and traditions.
This holds true for Richard Barnabas, 47, and his wife Cherry Bungawangi Igai, 40, who have been married for 17 years and have five children.
Reflecting on their journey together, Ipoh-born Richard said when he first met his in-laws from the Iban ethnic community some 18 years ago, he pledged – a promise that he still he keeps till today – to celebrate Hari Gawai with the family.
Richard, a Malaysian Indian and the eldest of three siblings, said he remembers his first trip from Kuala Lumpur to Kuching in 2005 to meet his wife’s family in Betong.
The five-hour journey by bus, 250 kilometres away from Kuching to Betong – which cost him less than RM15 – is still fresh in his mind.
It was his defining moment as the symbolic trip serves as a tie that binds him with the Land of the Hornbills; never had he imagined that he could reach this far and to be part of the Iban family.
A year after the historic visit, Richard, who was dressed in the Iban’s ‘baju burung’ while Cherry in the ‘Ngepan’ costume, tied the knot at Cherry’s family home, attended by relatives including Richard’s family from Ipoh, Perak.
“During the meeting with Cherry’s family, my father-in-law said he had no objection (to the wedding) but made me promise to take her daughter home for Hari Gawai as we were still residing in the peninsula then.
“It has been customary for our family that after the wedding, I would take my wife to celebrate Gawai and that she would spend Christmas together with my family in Ipoh,” Richard, who has been residing in Kuching since 2014, told Bernama.
Embracing diversity
Over a decade has passed since becoming part of his wife’s family, Richard who works as an engineer, maintains his respect and remains open and tolerant towards the Iban family’s unique cultural background and perspectives.
Recognising and respecting each other’s cultural differences is crucial for fostering harmony and understanding, said Richard, describing the new environment as a lifelong learning process.
Admitting the ‘cultural shock’ he faced in the early stages of knowing Cherry’s family, Richard said that the problem was gradually overcome after gaining exposure from his in-laws on the Iban culture, in particular.
His father-in-law Igai Melina, 73, also gave him a guidebook to help Richard learn and easily communicate in the ethnic language.
“I can understand the language but has yet to be proficient in answering questions (in the language) and until today I’m still learning. It’s not really a problem as Cherry’s family members usually speak in Malay when interacting with me.
“I still recall the first time I entered an Iban long house and noticed skulls being displayed at every corner of the house. For me, what I saw was not alarming; rather, it triggered my curiosity to learn more about their culture,” he said.
Cherry, who flashed a smile as she listened to Richard sharing his experience adapting to the new environment, added that her village was set abuzz with her husband’s presence, as that was the first time an Indian had visited the long house there.
Unlike her husband, Cherry, a housewife, did not experience a cultural shock when she became part of Richard’s family as she had been exposed to the Indian community’s culture since she was studying at a private college in Kuantan, Pahang before knowing her husband.
Given her early experience with the Indian community, she could easily adapt to Indian cuisine, said Cherry, noting that puri, an important breakfast staple served with curry, is also her favourite.
“I didn’t experience any cultural shock as I was used to the Indian way of life, especially when I first met Richard’s family who welcomed her with warmth. Although my husband’s family are Christians, they also celebrate Deepavali; I would also be dressed in sari and go to the temple with the family to celebrate the occasion.
“The Indian community’s celebration is very colourful…everything is just so brightly coloured with the Hindus celebrating in a lively atmosphere. Before this, I only watched (the celebration) on television and on films but now I get the real taste of Indian culture,” she added.
Meaning of Malaysia Day
Inter-racial marriage has not only taught Richard the Iban culture, but also helped him adapt to the patterns of family upbringing among the community in Sarawak, which is known as the land of unity.
The good values – of living in harmony and unity among Malaysia’s multi-racial community – inculcated in the couple’s five children all these years have made them better citizens. Their children would not introduce themselves as Indian or from the Iban community, but as ‘Malaysian’.
“All our children introduce themselves as ‘Malaysian’ and not from certain race…that’s just how we raised them so that they see everyone as equal,” said Cherry.
Inter-racial and inter-ethnic marriage is not a new phenomenon in this state, as Sarawak Premier Tan Sri Abang Johari Tun Openg has often highlighted this during his speech at the international level when he introduced Sarawak’s unique identity.
“When a Malay individual is married to a Chinese, the Malay family will attend the Chinese wedding tea ceremony and the Chinese family will also attend the akad nikah (marriage solemnisation) ceremony,” said Abang Johari.
Abang Johari said inter-racial and inter-ethnic marriages over generations have contributed to Sarawak’s harmony.
“One thing good about Sarawak culture – the Chinese marrying the Malay, the Malay marrying Chinese, the Chinese marrying Dayak and also Bidayuh, so much so over a period of time, as a result of these marriages, we have what I call hybrid Sarawakians,” he had said.
Proud to be accepted as part of the Sarawakian family, Richard said Malaysia Day which is celebrated annually on Sept 16, is much awaited as the celebration serves as a reminder for them to appreciate the importance of achieving and fostering better unity amongst the multi-racial society in Malaysia.
For Richard, Malaysia Day is significant to promote the Malaysian spirit and serves to remind Malaysians of the hard work their ancestors did to give them the freedom they enjoy today.
Malaysia Day, held on Sept 16 every year to commemorate the formation of Malaysia in 1963, became a nationwide public holiday in 2010. Prior to 2010, it was observed as a state public holiday only in Sabah and Sarawak.
“The peace and harmony we now enjoy can only be sustained if every Malaysian strives to ensure harmony. Rather than bickering over trivial matters, let us show the world that regardless of our racial and religious differences, we can still stay united,” he said.
“Indeed, this diversity is a valuable gem for Malaysia,” he added. – BERNAMA
