A kingdom ruler, a female knight for all the nightmares, a story-teller, the royal housekeeper – The best description for ‘Mothers’. Whether it is day or night, a mother’s job is unpredictable and neverending.
It is the only job in the world that does not offer off days or annual leave off from your children. It is without a doubt, a tiring job as it starts as early as dawn and end as late as dusk.
A mother can be anyone, from biological mothers, step-mothers to single fathers who take on the role of a mother. According to the dictionary, a mother is defined as something or someone that gives rise to or exercises protecting care over something else.
Mothers are the ones who carries us even before we are born, for nine months through all the morning sickness, emotional outburst, food cravings and aversion just to let her child see the daylight.
Mothers often describe the moment they see their baby through an ultra-sound for the first time as pure happiness. However, when the mother holds her child for the very first time, it is the most meaningful moment of her life. The smile she gives you then is an expression for “I will protect you with all my life”.
This is a tribute given to all mothers; for the constant support, for the bedtime stories, for the first walk, for the first day of school, for the packed lunch, planning for birthday parties, for listening to teenage whinnings, playing hide-and-seek with a sock, for the comforting hugs and kisses, for a clean home and laundry, for the ceaseless naggings and many more.
Poh Yoke Ling, two children, stay-at-home mother
Eventhough the stay-at-home mum willingly sacrifice her days for her children, she does face certain struggles including not being able to have ‘me, myself and I’ time, especially when her breastfeeding baby rejects feeding from a bottle. Besides the baby, she also has a very active toddler son who contstantly needs attention.
“He fell from the stairs recently and I felt like the biggest failure,” said Yoke Ling, who agrees that a mother’s job is one of the toughest.
“I have to make sure I stay level-headed and not lose my temper sometimes by thinking of the family. Thankfully, I get enough support from my husband and helper.”
As a mother, she wishes to provide her children with a healthy and happy childhood. “As long as they can be independent and contribute to society, it would mean that we have made the right choice.”
Valerie Chung, one child, stay-at-home mother
“The struggle that I face daily is time management. Even though we seem to have more time than most, getting everything done is a constant struggle,” said Valerie. The mother of one admitted that there are never enough hours in a day as she is always rushing from one task to the next. Being a stay-at-home mother, she stressed the importance of making time for one-self.
“As a stay-at-home mother, I tend to put everyone else in the family first, so self care becomes last priority,” Valerie said adding that she uses any extra time to exercise and occassionally meet with friends. Taking the role of a caretaker, chauffeur, cleaner, cook, tutor, home finance accountant – Valerie feels fortunate for the ample time spent in managing her child’s wellbeing even though staying at home can be lonely and isolating.
As for people who think that being a stay-at-home mum is an easy job, Valerie said : “Those comments are usually from those who don’t understand that staying at home entails long hours from early morning until late night with no pay, and sometimes little appreciation. There are no holidays, no sick leaves, no weekends off. We don’t have time to take long lunches, or go hang out at cafes.”
Victoria Joanne Lim, seven children, stay-at-home mother
For Victoria, success of being a mother is when she can see the admiration in her children’s face when they look at her, when they can relate to her and tell her they need her in times of troubles. While she attempts to keep up with chores, she also tries to give adequate attention to all her children.
Being a stay-at-home mother, accepting that it is tough but also her calling, she has no reservations when writing out her occupation as ‘housewife’ in forms. “ It is the only job where you have everything planned in your head and you execute them methodically, in a way where no one can simply replace you when you’re ‘out of order’.”.
Justina Gladys Boyer, one child, stay-at-home motherBeing a full time mother, Justina would often regard her job as being a “maid” at home or a child caretaker. She believes staying at home would give her a better chance in understanding her child. “As a mother, I believe that there is no such successful way in raising children – as long as you love them unconditionally, they will also do the same,” said Justina, who often multitask between chores while letting her child explore or play as she watch from afar. Through her believe the child can learn better, she would only comfort him when something goes wrong, then explain what happened and remind her son to be cautious.
Dayang Noorafizah, three children, working mother
The perfectionist in Dayang wishes for a ‘genie in a bottle’ to help her keep the house squeaky clean – balancing between work and home. Sometimes she wishes for a body double to settle things for her at home as she is stuck in the office. “After office hours, I would immediately attend to my children’s needs such as play time and cuddles until their bedtime,” said Dayang. This supermama keeps herself sane and strong by catching up with loss of sleep, destress with essential oil and does retail therapy. Her goals to achieve when raising her ‘beans’ is for them to grow up healthily, well-mannered, independent and happy.
Fressa Faisal, two child, working mother
Struggling with time, Fressa is constantly thinking ahead, planning her next step. “When I am at the office, I would think of what to cook later, but when I am at home cooking, I would think of tomorrow’s work assignment,” shared Fressa.
Being a perfectionist, she would let her husband handle their children while she run through all the house chores. “However, if my children needs my attention, I would often leave the chore hanging while attending to him. Then I would continue my work even if it’s late at night”. Although it is tiring, Fressa chooses to work rather than stay home to support the finance of the family.
Tanu Patodia, one child, working mother
With energy being her biggest struggle, Tanu faces a barrier at work because her time there is usually limited while she juggles between organising dinner, picking up her son, dry-cleaning and more. Tanu admits that it does not always go smoothly.
Like most mothers, multitasking is part of Tanu’s daily routine – she would cook, eat dinner then read with her son as an approach to strengthening their mother-son relationship after work. She does not regret working as she believes working mums makes a better role model for children.
“Personally I feel that my life would be more relaxed if I stayed at home, but I know I’d get bored very soon and drive everyone mad,” Tanu said. She would consider herself a successful mother when she sees her child exploring the world while developing good social skills. “I want my son to accept nothing and question everything but of course it backfires horribly when he uses it on me,” she said with laughter.
Adeline Sim, two child, working mother
Constantly fighting with time, Adeline who gave birth to her second son a year ago, tries to make time for both her company and family. “I always try to finish my work before I bring my boys home from school in the evening,” she said.
As spending time with children is essential, she would put her heart and soul to accompany them after work and during the weekends. While overseas for work, she often catch a free time just so she can video call her two sons at home. Adeline, who designs jewellery lived up to the words ‘money cannot buy happiness’ always puts her children happiness above all.
“Hearing the laughter of my two children is my everything”. With simple words from her children such as “Your cooking is delicious” or “Thank You mummy” is enough to strengthen her.
Age does not matter when a child is with his/her parents. There are days when they do not need their parents but inevitably, any child will return to experience the comfort of their parents home. Being a mother, it is dreadful to imagine one day the children who we showered with love regularly will grow up – no longer needing the constant hugs and kisses during their childhood days.
This is a tribute to all mothers, a big thanks for always trying to be there for each and every child, for the tiring moments they endure just for their children. Mothers do not need expensive gifts, nor luxurious service – they rather prefer a show of appreciation which often would brighten their day. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all mothers!
